Tuesday, September 29, 2015

On Cycling

I have been cycling all around in Bangalore on my khatara-pyaara second-hand over-priced cycle. Its been an elating experience to own such a perfect means of transport. The best part is that it can keep up with my energy level. I love when we criss-cross our way through the jammed traffic. On a cycle, you don't stop.. you figure new paths out. Have been missing on such a heavy dose of everyday happiness all these years. Its now that I realize :

Cycling is a joy unparalleled. :)

p.s : Not putting much effort in my posts. On a mission to cultivate the habit of being prolific. Will soon merge the two.
p.s: song of the day : Wo Sikandar he doston kehlata hai :D
p.s: because i love aamir ;)

Story of a mystical man.

I joined Bharat Thakur's Artistic Yoga classes three weeks back. It was just by accident that I dropped at the center, and I am glad it happened. I have been practicing yoga on and off since my teenage, and have attended quite a few workshops at various spiritual or otherwise centers. Bharat Thakur's Yoga class made me fall in love with Yoga. I had never experienced such close connection with my physical self before. I guess it had more to do with the perfection with which each posture was being taught. On later research I found out that 'Bharat Thakur' had actually spent most years of his childhood in the Himalayas under the guidance of his guru Bhramchari Sukhdev, who taught him yoga and other life essentials. He later did his M.Phil in physiotherapy. The classes are expensive but worth every penny. I will be continuing the classes as long as I am in Bangalore. I now wish to be a yoga practitioner for life. Now this is a very ambitious statement, and will require a lot of self discipline. But then that's the challenge. I found his entire story online, most of which Atul, my yoga teacher at the center, narrated me.. but he missed out on some very fascinating facts. Here is it, his awe inspiring story: 

He's a painter, a published writer, a trained classical singer, a Ranji Trophy cricketer, a cook and a successful businessman. Yet, he claims he is only a yoga teacher. Unwind's very own Bharat Thakur has one mission in life — to take yoga to the world.
A good part of the 34 years of his life were spent in the Himalayas, under the supervision of his guru Bhramchari Sukhdev, a retired IFS officer who had renounced worldly pleasures. Born into a prestigious Bihari family, Thakur says he has never used his family background to push his success.

Strange beginnings
"My parents were childless for a long time. On a pilgrimage, they met my guru, Bhramchari Sukhdev, who told them they would have four children — two sons and two daughters — but that they would have to give up their eldest son [me] in his service. From being childless to being the parents of four was appealing and they agreed.
"Sukhdev told them to return home and said he would come when the child was 4 years old. As agreed, he arrived around the time of my fourth birthday and I came away with him."
"Well, at that age, curiosity is a powerful attraction and I, like any other 4-year-old, was very curious. I had just witnessed my paternal grandfather passing away and wanted to know about death. Sukhdev promised to show me."
More in mind
Sukhdev took Thakur to Hardwar on the foothills of Himalayas but soon abandoned him. The 4-year-old Thakur went from ashram to ashram in search of his guru for the next two years, doing menial jobs to feed himself.
But Thakur insists it's not all an Oliver Twist-like tale. "It sounds very inhumane when put this way," he says. "But my guru had a plan. Moreover, I was never alone. A sadhu [ascetic] would always be around to take care of me. From them I learnt various survival techniques, such as keeping warm in winter without proper clothes, controlling hunger, etc. Just as he had suddenly disappeared, Sukhdev reappeared after two years and said I was now ready to go to the mountains with him."
Thus began Thakur's mysticism-filled education. "With my three companions, two boys and a girl, I received lessons in yoga, tantra, mantra, Ayurveda and various religions — Buddhism, Jainism and Sufism — not just from my guru but other teachers as well. Often, we meditated for 17-20 hours."
But a child is a child. Didn't you feel tempted?
"Of course we did. In fact, there was one young guru who would tempt us with luxuries such as cooked food. He would conjure up various goodies for us and we would be thoroughly impressed.
"So we asked our guru to teach us how he did that. That was the beginning of our tantra lessons, which were given to us by Swami Aghorananda."
Abandoned again
The more he relates his story, the more it sounds like a Hindi-film plot.
After 12 years of rigorous meditation and yoga, his guru abandoned him once again. "We had a massive misunderstanding, which I later came to know was created by him, and he disowned me and told me to return. He just handed me a piece of paper with an address, which was that of my maternal grandmother, who was taking care of my siblings as my parents had died. However, when I reached ‘home', they refused to believe who I was and again I found myself on the streets. But I was never alone. A Christian priest took me in and taught me to write English though I could speak English and my grammar was fine."
Under the tutelage of this priest, Thakur completed his matriculation. Then he received his Bachelor of Science in physical education from Laxmibai National Institute of Physical Education, in Gwalior. He was working as a physical trainer at the prestigious Scindia School in Gwalior when he was summoned by his guru.
Surprise heir
"I was also doing my MPhil, a research degree, when he told me he was leaving the mortal world and wanted to choose an heir from his four disciples. Vivek, the most diligent of us four, we felt, would be his obvious choice. As we sat in final meditation, guruji pulled me aside and told me he was choosing me. Shock is an understatement. I refused to accept it as I wasn't ready for it. I was 23 years old and this was a huge responsibility. He just told me to sit down and put his foot on my back. For the next 17 hours or so, I felt as if 20,000 volts of electricity passed through my body. What he was doing was ‘vajra pat'. He was passing on his powers to me. My intellect and logic were reduced to nothing, yet everything became clear to me. I felt a different kind of power but he told me to keep it under control. He sent me down to Hardwar to test me for the next two days. I realised I could use my powers even without knowing it. That's when he called me back and beat me up — all my life I had been his favourite wash board because I questioned too much — for losing control. Even years later, after he had died, he would come back to me in my dreams to control and guide me.
"With this, began my journey as a yoga guru."
Feeling his mission was being stifled as a small-town schoolteacher, he left for New Delhi. He had also finished his research degree but jobs were elusive.
Sudden rise
"No one would hire me and said I was too qualified. So I put my MPhil away and with just my matriculation certificate, secured a job as an acupuncturist in a health club. It became more of a clinic.
"That's when the suspicious owner of the club approached me and I told her about my degree. She made me manager of all her health centres. By now I was living comfortably.
"But my guru returned to remind me of my purpose. I resigned and became a door-to-door yoga teacher. At this time, I met Shailaja Tahiliani, the wife of Indian designer Tarun Tahiliani, who suggested I open a yoga centre.
"I had the good fortune of meeting Indian industrialist Russi Modi through another famous businessman whom I treated for multiple sclerosis. Modi told me I was a loser. And I thought: ‘What rubbish! I was making a decent packet to meet all my needs.' Moreover, I believed what people told me, that, I was the best yoga teacher in the world. I was na├»ve enough to believe people praised me because they loved me. Modi told me they were holding me back by pampering me.
"Around this time, I met Nandan, a graphic designer from the US, at one of my tapasya meditation classes in Bangalore. He wanted a change and I was looking for someone who could be my partner. He became my disciple and within a year, he was teaching yoga with me. More money started flowing in.
Steady expansion
"Once again, my guru appeared and told me to expand my operations. Today I have about 300 teachers in different parts of India, Russia, Malaysia and Dubai. This is how Artistic Yoga came into being. With time, more and more educated people joined us. With them came ideas. We diversified into films, fashion designing and other businesses.
"Yet, I rarely participate in the running of these. My business is only to heal the world — physically and mentally — through yoga," Thakur says.

Happy Yoga ! :)
p.s : Bharat Thakur is married to Bhumika Chawla. :) 
p.s : I saw quite a few of his videos, I found him very genuine.
p.s : If I ever have a chance to meet him, I would ask him if he could be my guru.
p.s : yoga of the day : Kunjal Kriya - excellent to relieve acidity, indigestion, gas, bloating and also brings a healthy glow to the skin.
p.s : song of the day : Na Sahi (Socha Na Tha)

Sunday, September 20, 2015

Feeling Excited !!!

Awesome posts lined up for the next few months.. I promise. :)

p.s: this is make-yourself-accountable post ;)
p.s: song of the day All about that bass :D lovely, funny song.

Sunday, September 13, 2015

It will happen again !

You know what ! I have this overly conscious conscience. Even as I sit here to frame this post.. I am feeling guilty of being unjust to all the awesome life experiences I have not penned down. This is also one reason I am not able to blog frequently, because when I am drafting one emotion/event, the guilt of not having given importance to more worthy emotions/events keeps distracting me. There have been abundant moments of adrenaline rush, of amazing life experiences, of joys I found in simplest things and love I discovered in dearest ones that deserve due attention here. But I am pulled in here almost always when I am broken.. This is being so selfish you know ! Human beings are inherently selfish I guess. Sometimes I think we as a civilization have made rules for ourselves, but if we did chose to go by living freely we did be more dangerous than the beasts.  Anyway, back to the point. So what tragedy brought me back here today ? Its having failed in love I never fell for in the first place. 

Its been two months since the chapter closed and life's been pretty awesome even after that.. thanks to the resilience developed over the past years.. This was the very first time I ever said someone a "yes".  I had full faith, that I may go wrong somewhere but he never will.. after all he had been so genuine all along the way. Also to mention, if I hadn't had that much faith in him (which was developed over a period of one year, enough to convince that it was not blind faith) I would have never said him a "yes". In the period of six months I had given him all the attention I could to make him feel special, that it was as strong from my side as it was from his.. and I strongly felt that I have been so lucky to find a person as genuine as him. We never ever ran into a conflict but I guess I was overly optimistic ( I always am..). 

It was so easy for him to give it up all. When signs of parting were cropping up, I felt more sorry for him than myself... I could not sleep for days.. picturing what pain he would be going through... I was determined to make love win. I had planned that I would go against my principle of "never going against your parents" if need be.. but to my surprise.. it was so much easier for him.

In the last days all he said was, " we have lived beautiful moments together, trust me I would never find a girl better than you..!!.."  Hahahaha.. Thanks for the consolation prize indeed ! When did love reduce to such a thing though?! I could see no determination in him of making it happen. Finally I realized that I had made a fool out of myself by taking every possible step I could possibly take. But I still kept thinking that life isn't fair and I am not in his shoes to understand what he might be going through.

Its been two months since the chapter closed. I broke down in tears for the first time today.. Something really went wrong.. you know! I did not deserve such a betrayal. Its not loosing the person that is hurting... Its loosing faith in love, sacrifice and commitment.. that is scaring..

All that being said..  a heart might be bruised, but it will recover and become capable of seeing beauty of life once more. It's happened before, it will happen again..

Sunday, January 4, 2015

Endings and Beginnings

2014 had been a great year of self-exploration. From lot of readings, fitness sprees, cycling sprints to mini-marathons ; living alone allowed me to try out a platitude of things on one hand, and on the other hand made me realize the extent of emotional security human companionship provides.
Our emotional health quotient is a complex function of companionship and solitude.
Companionship is like food for heart. Whether good or bad you need it but of course, the better the quality of food the healthier your heart is.
Solitude is like dieting. It helps you maintain your food intake, cleanses your heart and helps it pump at its true potential. Excess of dieting lowers blood-pressure and leads to depressive emotions.
2014 had been a year of stronger family ties and deeper friendship bonds. Although scattered and not constructive, 2014 had also been a year of great learning. And what can be a perfect end to a year than getting to perform at two year-end parties. ^_^

2015 is not going to be a regular year. Either for the good or for the bad, this year is going to be decisive of what the rest of my life holds. It is its position on my lifeline that gives it this sense of urgency. There is a point when you can't let life just be and you feel this pinching need to figure things out, figure things so that each day is well lived and not just breathed. When you have that longing need for direction. When its a do or you will die situation. I wish myself all the best. :)
Wishing every creation on earth a very happy new year ! :)

p.s : travelling from kolkata to noida,
      got this post reviewed from my co-passengers. :)
p.s : posting from my new moto- G2 ;)
p.s : listening to 'hil dil k naacho naacho' :D

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Let it go

She was alert enough not to slip this time,
It was all sorted out in her brain..

That if she did fall, it would be a conscious decision..
and that it won't mean another heartbreak..

But then I guess, with all those taped cracks already..
Her heart should have reposed like a forgotten work of art, forever.. untouched..

But it fell, consciously, into pieces again..
Yet again, into older fragments.. 

Only to experience the pain so familiar..
And to gather all courage to put the pieces back together..

Parting Note:
Pain makes you stronger,
But then being too strong is painful.

p.s: stuck in this loop of procrastination. 
I want to be super productive. Everyday. Peace.
p.s: Leaving Bangalore. Moving to Noida. No Hopes. 
p.s: Me.Bangalore = staying all alone. Boring office. Difficult people. CL and friends. Sleepover. Badminton. Yoga. Loosing weight. Cycling. Running and A little more wordly me. 
p.s: love. the sun and the universe <3
p.s: goodnight! :)

Thursday, June 5, 2014

the CATCHER in the RYE

The Catcher in the Rye, a novel by J. D. Salinger, is regarded as a classic. It has been in and out of controversies since it was first published in 1951. 
The picture below illustrates the happiest moment in narrator's memory, watching his cute little sister Phoebe go round and round in the carousel. I got it from Andrew's blog

As I read the first line of the last chapter, 'THAT'S ALL I'm going to tell you about', like a shot a void hit my heart. I didn't want it to end so fast. As in, I wanted to know at least a little more. I sort of started liking Holden Caufield by the end of the play. I actually started liking him sometime into the start itself, to tell the truth. The way he jumped from one tale to another amused me, and how he made silly cynical comments about everything. It made me laugh. I kept wondering why people call this book depressing. He kept describing everything around as lousy or phony, and guys he didn't like as pimpy and all. Funny he was. I sort of felt sorry for him sometimes because he just didn't like anything around him. But the way he kept describing them made him only more amusing. How much he loved his cute little sister, Phoebe, would only make you love him more. But he kept feeling dizzy all along. That made me sad.

All long the story you feel as if he is telling you every little bit about his life. But he is not. The darkest side of his life is hidden till the end. He is depressed and all, but only very late into the story do you get a hint of why is he so depressed. Antolini, the teacher, petting/patting over his head scares a hell out of him. And how he reacts scares a hell out of me. Trust me. I know that feeling. Whether Antolini is at fault or not is a completely different story, but what Holden might have gone through is clearly hinted here. This dark side of human race is so unfortunate. I wonder why the hell God made world this way. 

Holden steals my heart here.

Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around – nobody big, I mean – except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff – I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all.  

Didn't he? All he wants to do in life is save these little kids from falling down while they are playing in the field of rye. Deep down, it reflects his own state. For all the time he had been falling into the abyss of angst, he wished someone was there to catch him and to save him. 

For seldom he appreciates things around him, but when he does the simplicity and innocence of it is an absolute stealer. 

Every time he was about to puke, it made me think he is about to die. I was quite sure he would die at the end of the story, to tell the truth, given people had told me the story is very depressing and all. I mean its kind of sad but not depressing. Mark David Chapman found it so depressing(read inspiring) that he murdered John Lennon ?? :O , I still don't get that! Caulfield was all along such an nice guy.
What might have been the case is that, may be Lennon was into some wrong business and David knew about it, and so he wanted to play the savior by putting an end to Lennon's life. It just made me suspicious, for trust me such dark truths are easiest to hide. Nobody wants to talk about it openly as it makes them feel undignified. Also there is never a tangible proof and the truth is ugly. 

But I wonder if he, I mean Holden, had always been depressed that way all his life or did some drastic sequence of events in past had a profound impact on his impressionable mind. I even wonder if he ever had his food properly. I still wonder. He felt dizzy all the time. I guess all he needed was to be taken care of. A little more love and happiness and immense amount of family care would have been a more transforming decision than sending him to the asylum. 

He was such a bright and nice boy.

p.s: there are certain moments in the story that are so amazing, like when Phoebe comes with her suitcase and all. Phoebe is an absolute delight. All moments with her are amazing actually :)
p.s: I used to think classics are all hi-fi stuffs ( I always think of everything as hi-fi ) and I have to be all scholarly to understand that and all. If this is what classics are, I am in for some more. 
p.s: I am listening to : Baarish from Yaariyan, beautiful song. :)